First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, is long form content dying?
“We become what we are willing to see.”
― Richard Rohr
Hey y’all! The Moon is new, in the sign of Taurus, so plan your day accordingly. While I know a fair amount about astrology, I find the modern prognosticators often repeat each other in order to go viral online. But here’s the deal…a lot of the modern spiritual paths are rooted in the erasure of marginalized persons. Why go to your local Strega or Granny Woman when you can pay a lot of money to shady pseudo-spiritualists that say, “Hey, upload your financials to AI and have it tell you how to make even more money.”
So this past week has been an odd one, and I’m still sitting with the events that brought me back to the land of navel gazing. There were these tiny drops of aha! moments that created a tsunami of thoughts. Each one flowing over my brain like milk in a bowl of cereal. Trying to explain it to anyone has been impossible, and all I could say to my husband was that my creative brain decided to reboot itself back to 2013 settings.
The hard part of healing after life borrowed your creative energy for survival is when your soul says, “Hey, you tell folks all the time they are made in the image of an energy that creates, therefore you are also a creative being,” but the rest of you is like, “No. Nope. Not Today.” Writing is second nature to me, and is honestly so much a part of my life that my tagline should be, “I have a story for that,” instead of “Everything I’m about to tell you is true.” So while I was trying to write things this week, and nothing would come out, it was clear that changes were coming my way.
Oh, yes…yes those are vultures, and they are my friends. If you call them little babies, they will swoop down to visit. And before y’all come over here with your scary stories, or how you Pappy said they mean this or that, just know that I’ve studied this land for nearly 25 years. They are not a portent of doom and/or gloom, nor will they eat your face. In fact, if they weren’t here, we would be up to our pits in carrion. We fear them because they represent the part of life that is the end, and what truly comes after our body stops working. Honestly, I can’t imagine being a first human and seeing this big old bird having a meal from a long gone animal. It would seriously weird me out, but also…if I was hungry…that bird might be the best teacher. Again, before you wanna say gross, or that’s not right, sit in nature for a bit to see how the process of model/rival works. We are, after all, human animals, and we got to where we are now by observing the natural world around us.
During this whole week of transformation, while out and about, I had a whole creative idea flash through my mind quicker than the AI can tell you how wonderful you are (because it is coded to do so, but that’s a story for another day). That kind of process was dulled by those years of smiling for the camera, so to speak, and walking as close to the standards of cultural normality — at least here in the States — that I had the ability to do. While it was performative, I was not performing. Not to sound dramatic, but the fate of my family depended on me showing up like someone I am not. This wasn’t inauthenticity, as no matter what life brings us we are being authentic in our experiences. That’s not a what is the sound of one hand clapping koan, or teaching story, but a tangible reality that none of us can escape. No matter what we are doing, or how we are doing it, in that moment we are engaging a part of our true self. Which, for me, there’s an aspect of my personality that is just some woman from Kentucky doing her best in chaotic moments.
Anyway, this creative idea that I had started with painting, then crochet, and after that photography. Literally in the span of like maybe 3 seconds, my brain laid out this beautiful storyboard of ideas. It just felt really good to be back in that zone again, but it did sort of run me off the rails. But you know, life is one long river, and time doesn’t go anywhere. Maybe some past, or future, me stepped into my current timeline to show me a way out of the mire I didn’t know I was still in.
It was no surprise when my spiritual side lit up as well. I also had to put that part of me to the side during the time of caring for my family where all my energy was needed to keep us going. In my life I’ve seen how everything is connected so many times that any other examples are just overkill. It’s about metaphysics and science meeting up and having the best tea party ever. Also, the Universe is always talking to us, and it’s quite egotistical to think that it isn’t…or that we somehow know more than creation itself.
With all this going on it was hard to sit in front of my screen pondering what to write to all y’all. My fingers wanted to talk about the beauty of being human, and my mind was all aflutter with stories of grace. However, when I opening the site, got that new post ready, everything went blank. I’d get a drink of water, do the dishes, and use all the techniques writers use when feeling a block, but none of them worked. After pondering it a bit, I remember that sometimes we carry stories that are only for ourselves. Telling them to others would sort of swoosh the magic of it away, or introduce doubt into the process due to the opinions of others. So I sat with it, parsed out the aspects that were okay to share — waiting for the right time to come back to my characteristic rambling.
Which was today, with a new Moon “in the neck,” aka Taurus, to share a part of my life with the world. I’m still trying to figure out what to do with this space, but thankfully the Universe helped me out a bit. For now I’m just gonna keep showing up; keep telling tales.
Until next time…much love,
~ KEU
Kim Upton 