Category: photography

another rainy day

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, personal awakenings can really shift your life.

“When you are already in Detroit, you don’t have to take a bus to get there.”
– Ram Dass

When the Universe nudged me to “get back to my work,” having a deep existential shift in my pondering was not on the vision board. In fact, I’ve never laid out anything so clearly in my life, especially since this was my last *big try* at living my dreams.

Now there is all this inner pressure to keep moving forward with my plans, even when all the sings are pointing to, “Yeah, you did the thing, but now you have to do another thing.” This lights up my Holy Shite You Are Gonna Look Like A Fruitcake Again brain centers, kicking my feelings into this weird place, and then making me ponder joining the circus. When things like this have happened in the past, I’ve leaned into the online communities where folks would offer suggested grounded in wisdom and compassion — but now, well, it’s not exactly like that anymore.

In all my 54 years I’ve yet to meet anyone who knows it all. They might think they do, but sadly they do not. Also, humans often want to know all the things and be the one to answer all the questions. I’m not sure where this lovely trend started, but I can tell you that social media foments that desire to be only one that is right about everything all of the time.

Now it is obvious that this particular awakening/shift is not going to find answers online, but instead I will once again need to navel gaze while pondering the movement of all these signs coming my way.

What are these signs you’re asking…well let me share them with you in bullet points.

  • Shifting Mom’s Strange Magic to a place where I’m already paying the powers that be instead of trying to reinvent the great wheel of what the frick over in the Google-verse.
  • Doing more short form video content on my main YouTube account, as well as writing here.
  • Paying attention to the portents going on around me about being more public about my spiritual and esoteric living.
  • Sharing more of my healing journey.
  • Be more creative.

Those are just the icing the cake, as the saying goes, but again my inner critic is having a field day with these things. Also, as someone who has hopefully gathered some wisdom, I know to meditate on these changes a bit before having a knee jerk reaction to them. So that’s what I’m going to do, the thinking part, and will most likely write about it here.

Honestly, this is the most intense internal shift I’ve had in a very, very long time, and it is wild to walk through it during a time of coming back from the depths of life over the past few years.

As Rumi so eloquently states, “This being human is a guest house,” and I swear truer words have never been spoken.

Until next time…sending tons of love and support to all y’all,
~ Kim

This post has no AI (but WordPress keeps pushing it)

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, it’s a rainy Friday and I’m deep in thought.

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”
― Thomas Merton

Working on that consistency while deep in the creative cave, so here’s so old photos of mine. Enjoy!

Until next time…much love and tons of support,
~ Kim

happy new moon in taurus

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, is long form content dying?

Turkey vultures hanging out in a yard.

“We become what we are willing to see.”
― Richard Rohr

Hey y’all! The Moon is new, in the sign of Taurus, so plan your day accordingly. While I know a fair amount about astrology, I find the modern prognosticators often repeat each other in order to go viral online. But here’s the deal…a lot of the modern spiritual paths are rooted in the erasure of marginalized persons. Why go to your local Strega or Granny Woman when you can pay a lot of money to shady pseudo-spiritualists that say, “Hey, upload your financials to AI and have it tell you how to make even more money.”

So this past week has been an odd one, and I’m still sitting with the events that brought me back to the land of navel gazing. There were these tiny drops of aha! moments that created a tsunami of thoughts. Each one flowing over my brain like milk in a bowl of cereal. Trying to explain it to anyone has been impossible, and all I could say to my husband was that my creative brain decided to reboot itself back to 2013 settings.

The hard part of healing after life borrowed your creative energy for survival is when your soul says, “Hey, you tell folks all the time they are made in the image of an energy that creates, therefore you are also a creative being,” but the rest of you is like, “No. Nope. Not Today.” Writing is second nature to me, and is honestly so much a part of my life that my tagline should be, “I have a story for that,” instead of “Everything I’m about to tell you is true.” So while I was trying to write things this week, and nothing would come out, it was clear that changes were coming my way.

Oh, yes…yes those are vultures, and they are my friends. If you call them little babies, they will swoop down to visit. And before y’all come over here with your scary stories, or how you Pappy said they mean this or that, just know that I’ve studied this land for nearly 25 years. They are not a portent of doom and/or gloom, nor will they eat your face. In fact, if they weren’t here, we would be up to our pits in carrion. We fear them because they represent the part of life that is the end, and what truly comes after our body stops working. Honestly, I can’t imagine being a first human and seeing this big old bird having a meal from a long gone animal. It would seriously weird me out, but also…if I was hungry…that bird might be the best teacher. Again, before you wanna say gross, or that’s not right, sit in nature for a bit to see how the process of model/rival works. We are, after all, human animals, and we got to where we are now by observing the natural world around us.

During this whole week of transformation, while out and about, I had a whole creative idea flash through my mind quicker than the AI can tell you how wonderful you are (because it is coded to do so, but that’s a story for another day). That kind of process was dulled by those years of smiling for the camera, so to speak, and walking as close to the standards of cultural normality — at least here in the States — that I had the ability to do. While it was performative, I was not performing. Not to sound dramatic, but the fate of my family depended on me showing up like someone I am not. This wasn’t inauthenticity, as no matter what life brings us we are being authentic in our experiences. That’s not a what is the sound of one hand clapping koan, or teaching story, but a tangible reality that none of us can escape. No matter what we are doing, or how we are doing it, in that moment we are engaging a part of our true self. Which, for me, there’s an aspect of my personality that is just some woman from Kentucky doing her best in chaotic moments.

Anyway, this creative idea that I had started with painting, then crochet, and after that photography. Literally in the span of like maybe 3 seconds, my brain laid out this beautiful storyboard of ideas. It just felt really good to be back in that zone again, but it did sort of run me off the rails. But you know, life is one long river, and time doesn’t go anywhere. Maybe some past, or future, me stepped into my current timeline to show me a way out of the mire I didn’t know I was still in.

It was no surprise when my spiritual side lit up as well. I also had to put that part of me to the side during the time of caring for my family where all my energy was needed to keep us going. In my life I’ve seen how everything is connected so many times that any other examples are just overkill. It’s about metaphysics and science meeting up and having the best tea party ever. Also, the Universe is always talking to us, and it’s quite egotistical to think that it isn’t…or that we somehow know more than creation itself.

With all this going on it was hard to sit in front of my screen pondering what to write to all y’all. My fingers wanted to talk about the beauty of being human, and my mind was all aflutter with stories of grace. However, when I opening the site, got that new post ready, everything went blank. I’d get a drink of water, do the dishes, and use all the techniques writers use when feeling a block, but none of them worked. After pondering it a bit, I remember that sometimes we carry stories that are only for ourselves. Telling them to others would sort of swoosh the magic of it away, or introduce doubt into the process due to the opinions of others. So I sat with it, parsed out the aspects that were okay to share — waiting for the right time to come back to my characteristic rambling.

Which was today, with a new Moon “in the neck,” aka Taurus, to share a part of my life with the world. I’m still trying to figure out what to do with this space, but thankfully the Universe helped me out a bit. For now I’m just gonna keep showing up; keep telling tales.

Until next time…much love,
~ KEU

Uncertainty is my friend

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, life is one lone mysterious river of wonder.

If you take this image pixies will find you.

“I do not wish to talk about myself because I hold very deeply the belief that what is important is the work, not the person.”
― Remedios Varo

This whole week has been full of shenanigans and wonkiness. Everything from power outages to deep thoughts that ran amuck. I talk about it in this week’s podcast over at Mom’s Strange Magic, but wanted to say a few words here, too.

A wee bit ago I was able to see a Remedios Varo exhibit in Chicago. While the whole trip was life changing, reminding me that everything isn’t about us (meaning not everything in the world revolves around you, or me, or all humans), I was also able to see the things I love in their full form. That’s a whole tale and a half, but not for this post. Nor is the magical tale of seeing the original works from one of my favorite artists (side note, I was able to see another exhibit from another fave artist, Georgia O’Keefe during my next trip to Chicago), as that would be several paragraphs of ramble that would read like a fan-girl ramble.

So this week, it’s been an interesting one, so I have had to dwell in the land of uncertainty. That place used to really make me feel like my skin was crawling, but now it’s like the Universe is nudging me to stop, breathe, and get recentered. Honestly, between you and me, that is what was needed. You know, just some good old-fashioned WTF is going on right now energy. Some people need quiet to create, others hide themselves away from the world, and some wait for inspiration. Me? Well as soon as that wild hair starts blowing in the wind, the ideas start flowing. In my younger years I made notes, stuck them in a journal, then came back to them when the time was right. Now it’s a race to find a piece of paper to put in a journal before the idea floats away. It’s not an aging brain, nor a health issue, or even my creaky joints, but the fact that I’m out of practice. During the time I was caring for my family, there was no time to engage creativity. It was literally one foot in front of the other, every day, for nearly 11 years. And you wanna talk about uncertainty…that was like boot camp for being able to handle any kind of stress. 10 of 10 I **don’t** recommend.

Speaking of ideas, one or two just popped into my noggin, which means there are only a few short minutes to get them on paper. This means that I’m going to do an abrupt sign off — but that’s okay, what isn’t written here is in the podcast. Y’all keep shining brightly as the Sun.

Until next time…much love,
~ KEU

Let the light shine

Nature scene of a forest with the sunrising over the treetops

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, we are all little drops of light connected to the stars above.

“If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.”
― Rumi

During this morning’s meditation time, I posed a question to my inner self about the nature of what lies ahead for my life. This isn’t my way of future telling, but rather a way to follow crumbs the Universe leaves for all of us.

spider webs in a tree in the dark

Before you ask, no, the image above was not created by AI. In the Book of Kimbo and the Wayback Machine, I was once a professional photographer. Heck, I even won some awards, had my work hung in galleries, and all that fun stuff creative people hope to experience. Thing is, most of my work was safe, easy to understand, and something that could easily hang on the wall of a doctor’s office. Truly, it was one of those things that paid the bills.

In my free time I pushed my cameras to their limits while also not really understanding all the bells and whistles of each device. Truthfully, even after working in this field for nearly a decade (again, as a professional), I still don’t know what aperture and speed mean when getting an image. And you know what, even though I’ve taken the classes and read the books, I still don’t know what they mean…and honestly I’ve no real desire make any of that stick in the folds of my brain.

Over the years I’ve met a lot of photographers – ranging from hobbyists to those who think they are the next Ansel Adams – who are well educated on the techniques and styles of getting a great image on film or an SD card. Along with that I studied the big names of the field, and did my best to understand their setups. When I would go out into the field to use these things, the shots were nice, but they lacked soul. Well, at least to me they did…so I decided to try something a bit more mystical.

There are many cultures in the world that see the “thing” ness of the Universe. An example of this would be your kitchen broom. While it might look like a simple tool, to these cultures it possesses its own broom nature. Instead of tossing it off to the side when you are done sweeping, you pause for a moment to thank it for its broom-ness. The same thought applies when getting ready to use it. Instead of just grabbing it, you politely ask if it would be okay to be used for sweeping.

In that word jumble above, what I’m trying to say is this — my most treasured photography work happened when I asked, to no one in particular, if it was okay to get a picture. Just a simple little query, but one that often helped me see things, like the light, in a much different way.

Let the light shine; let all be revealed.

That sentence is in bold because: 1) it leans into the title of this post; 2) it leans into the above words about asking permission.

Humans forget that we are made of light. Shadow, too, but only because of the light. This isn’t some overly saccharine view of science, or a dip into the esoteric neo new age rhetoric. Humans produce a low level amount of light (use “the Google” to take a gander at ultra-weak photon emission), which is pretty much hard to see without help from special devices. This machines, cameras if you will, can see the wee photons dancing around in a way that gives off light. Kind of makes you think twice about auras and such, I’m sure.

Now, if we keep going with this, one might say, “Hey, do all things have light within,” and that would be a great way to get some new wrinkles in your brain. At the same time, current scientific research says that all things, and yes…all the things…contain energy. Rolling all this into one place we might be able to say that if the energy of the photographer intertwined with the energy of the camera, they would be able to have a bond (loosely defined here). Now, take that unit, the human and the device, and have it ask permission to see the energy all around. Just let your mind go and think about that for a moment.

When we let our inner light shine, it helps reveal things to us. Not just with a camera, but with the people we meet, and the tasks we do. I mean just really let that sink in – you are connected to all things (energy), and while all things don’t contain light, you do. Just walking around in the world with all that light, so when you encounter another thing, your light can be revealing.

I know it’s a lot to think about on a Monday, and this is reading like someone who had a cat jump on their lap no less than 4 times while writing. But y’all, I’m committed to the bit here, and even if these words seem like fluff and stuff, they are my way of taking the light within and sharing it with others.

Here’s some takeaways from this post:
– you are made of light
– all things have energy (the metaphysics within the laws of thermodynamics is amazing)
– when light shines it reveals things
– when taking photos ask your surroundings if it is okay (and people, too, of course)
– light and energy both connect things
– you are made of light and energy, meaning you are connected to all things

With all that, now that you know all things are connected, every time you do one small act to help yourself, that will help all things.

With the fifth jump of a cat onto my desk, that means it’s time to check on the food bowl, and it’s almost time for office hours to start.

Sending out lots of light and energy to all y’all. Oh, and May the 4th be with you, as this is the May!

Until next time…big hugs,
~ KEU