Everything I’m about to tell you is true.
First, I am a delight.
Second, I am large, I contain multitudes.
What I’m about to say is not a “hook,” nor is it something to leverage my SEO. Honestly, I know very little about all those things, and find them quite frustrating in my return to the online world. Please note that I also do not want to learn about these things, because adding in a bunch of hidden codewords so the algorithms can find my work is the exact opposite of what I’m doing here.
Also, I’ve niched myself into oblivion before. It sucks, and trying to show people other sides of who you are isn’t easy.
Them: “Oh, so you’re not a square, then…”
Me: “Well, I’m a cube…which could be seen as a square. But in reality there are many dimensions to who I am.”
Them: “So you’re not a square?”
Me: “Yes, I am not a square.”
Them: “Okay, just don’t try to be a cube anymore, as that just confuses everyone.”
Me: “…”
Back in the early 2000s there was this idyllic little spot on the web called LiveJournal. In my eyes it was the early inklings of long-form social media, and a place that welcomed both big and small names. We became invested in the lives we followed, offering support and understanding to folks we hadn’t met in the “real world.”
During my time there I absolutely contained multitudes. No one batted an eye at the fact that there were 20 different hats in the “Who is Kim” part of my personality closet. Being an absent minded Buddhist herbalist tarot reader, living mostly off grid on a small plot of land, while trying to subvert the dominant paradigm was de rigueur. Not only that you could be a zine writing feminist artist that was skeptical of the system while also enjoying Taco Bell on occasion. You could just be real, and other people would be real with you.
Very slowly, then all of a sudden, a ripple went through the site and folks starting drawing lines in the wires – sort of like the scene from Monty Python’s Life Of Brian where the characters are discussing the People’s Front of Judea. You were either with the people, against the people, or one of those horrid fence sitters that could see both sides of the story. Guess where I was?
If you guessed the last group, you win a gold star. While I didn’t sing the let’s all get along song, it was my greatest hope that everyone would see what was going on, life would get back to normal, and we could continue being in this online Utopia. That was not how the route was going until an unlikely pair of enemies appeared – The Facebook and a Russian company buying SixApart/LiveJournal. Finally, we could all go back to love, acceptance, and being multifaceted, right? Right?!?!? Because, you know, we were not united in our displeasure of the road ahead…
That was about two decades ago, and here we are together in the dance of the doom scroll. We want content creators to do one thing and one thing only. As someone that really rocks out to things being the same, I understand that feeling, but also…humans aren’t robots.
For some time I tried to tell my stories on TikTok using the hashtag efftheniche. The comments I received were less than kind, and I often found my posts under review. To keep a system running there cannot be a disruption in the process. If you don’t fit into a category, you get lumped in with all the other misfit toys. This gives you a big penalty online, and in some secret language the platforms talk to each other about how you won’t conform. While they are chatting, they also suggest advertising based on your search history or the search history of anyone near you.
All of that just made me sad…and cranky. The thought of making a repeating post that said, “You niche-heads get off my digital lawn” crossed my mind daily. In some very odd act of rebellion I decided that I would show them…I’d stop giving them my content to use. Not only that, let me just stop doing all the things that I love because the algorithm doesn’t like me or my work. And while I’m at it, let me just kick it up a notch by metaphorically gluing my feet to the floor so that all those big feelings stayed with me every day. Just a full on laugh riot every minute…me and my “you can’t make me” temper tantrum.
The honest truth here is that I’m not back in this part of my work so the bots can turn me into a viral creator. This is for my kids and family. It’s for all the times they’ve told me to write my stories, take my photos, or tell my tales. This is a way to show them that our finite time on this planet should be spent living fully, and with the audacious authenticity of a dandelion growing between the cracks in the sidewalk. It’s also for all the people who have been told to dull their shine, or to stop being too much.
Or, as Walk Whitman says in his poem, “Song of Myself, 51”:
“The past and present wilt - I have fill’d them, emptied them.
And proceed to fill my next fold of the future.
Listener up there! what have you to confide to me?
Look in my face while I snuff the sidle of evening,
(Talk honestly, no one else hears you, and I stay only a minute longer.)
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
I concentrate toward them that are nigh, I wait on the door-slab.
Who has done his day’s work? who will soonest be through with his supper?
Who wishes to walk with me?
Will you speak before I am gone? will you prove already too late?”
So, eff the niche. Be notorious. Shine brightly. Life is too short for mediocrity.
Oh, the typo fairies had vanilla bean ice cream, which means this post should be mostly typo free…
Until next time – much love and tons of support to all y’all,
~ KEU
Kim Upton 