First of all, I’m a delight
Second, everything I’m about to tell you is true.
Today it is a New Moon in Scorpio, with the last few days of the Sun also being in Scorpio. And, I mean, who among us wouldn’t want that kind of energy in our lives right now? And if that’s not enough, Mercury is currently in retrograde…just hanging out in Scorpio.
As you’ve most likely noticed, things have been pretty quiet here. After years of having folks say, “Hey, do your work in silence, then share it,” I finally listened. Now I’m over here doing all the things, but not sharing them. This is due to this back and forth in my brain about being on social media. Not a blog or website (or even Patreon), but that little weird place online where no matter how much we try to present as who we are, something happens that makes us feel like we just gotta do something to get attention. This is neither bad nor good, just what is. As strong as I thought my being was, the pull to “go viral” sneaks up and tries to take me for a ride with ego.
So what is a human to do? How do you walk with integrity to your goals and dreams, while also navigating a system that doesn’t seem to work in your favor? Do you keep banging on a door that isn’t going to open, or do you walk away and just do your thing?
These are the very same questions I sat with after taking the whole month of August to learn more about all the places one can promote themselves. If you wanna, please feel free to look at past posts. During my time away I thought about taking them down, or doing some radical changes to my site, but none of that felt like me. Also, I’ve done that so many times in my past – because you know…”I’m different now.” (insert cute eye roll emoji here) No matter how much we grow, change, or even regress, we are always going to be ourselves. There is this HUGE demand to be “authentic” online. However, what can happen – something I’ve experienced personally – is that that proclamation becomes performative. “Look at ME – I’m AUTHENTIC!” Honestly, no matter how grounded you are in your own wellness, the siren song of hanging with the popular kids can sideline even the strongest person.
Before this New Moon rolled around, I took care of some things that were long overdue — such as deactivating my personal Facebook profile. Today I’m pondering just walking away from all the Meta platforms completely, as in no more posting on any of them. While full time content creation might work for a lot of people, but for me it’s like walking into a room of unfolded laundry you put away then unfolds itself again. After working hard to get something up, my brain feels like a scrambled egg, which then gives me this feeling that I’m clearly a dunce for not just internally knowing how to do all of this…especially since I was such an advocate for “Internet.” (see pic below – my maiden name is Ericksen, BTW)
Ah…the beauty of youth… “There’s an unlimited amount of knowledge out there.” Yes, dear, there is, was, and still might be – if we all had listened to those who were trying to teach us media literacy. Even with a background in journalism and education (among other things from my college years), I got sucked into the ease of being myself in a way that got attention for being myself. Sometimes life is just like that, you know – but thankfully we get to live and to learn.
All of this brings me to the point of this post…
If you are here for niche content, lemme just warn you that this might not be the place for you. I’m going to be sharing parts of my work, my daily life, and whatever feels pulled to be shared with y’all. Life is too short to worry about the clicking-tongue Greek chorus of “Internet.” Honestly it held me back for a long time, along with some other things I’ll be discussing along the way, and I’m just very much done with constantly putting my liminal octahedron onto a very thin line. And just a lot of other things that don’t need to be rambled here.
Also, I will be utilizing my Patreon and YouTube more – and while some person out there selling $40 classes on why that’s a bad idea, please know that you will be able to find any videos/Patreon information right here.
So, without further ado…happy opening day to me. I’m back at work and have a lot of things to share with y’all. Big hugs to all of y’all that have been a huge support to me over the past however-long years. Also, a huge thanks to my family for their guidance and love.
Until next time,
KEU
Kim Upton 