Creativity – Kim Upton

This Week’s Books

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”
― Thomas Merton

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, everything I’m about to tell you is true.

I guess this is where I should tell you what book I’m reading this week, ‘eh?

Still Here by Ram Dass

That’s the book this week. Guess that’s all for those post…

But seriously…let me get comfy so I can get a good ramble on.

(also, yes these are short sentences, and no nothing artificial helped me write this post – it’s all natural)

Lemme start off with a question: why is reading used as a litmus test for things like being smart, educated, or wise? And maybe I should clarify a bit – reading books, not just reading in general.

A few weeks ago I was in a deep discussion about this very topic, especially how it relates to people who have autism, ADHD, or OCD (as well as others, but these were the main part of the focus). What made me dive in and look around was a passing statement on some website about how autistic persons are not able to learn due to the inability to read. It took me a moment to figure out why anyone in 2025 would put something like that out in public, but these days nothing surprises me.

See, the thing is, there are quite a lot of folks who have difficulty reading – not just ones with specific diagnosis codes. What we all need to remember is that reading is not an innate skill. You don’t just come Earthside with the ability to read the back of every cereal box. Recognizing patterns, yes – dissecting Shakespeare’s sonnet, no.

What is that quote about fish riding bicycles and test scores. I could Google it up, but right now there’s a ramble-flow, which is wonderful to experience in the early hours of the morning. Anyhootie…let me wander around a bit in this topic.

Reading was a huge part of my life, and when I was in my early teens my dream was to live into eternity in order to read all the world’s books. But I didn’t want to be a vampire – just immortal…when you’re 13 that sounds cool. At 54 you realize that even if you started now, and could live forever, it would be impossible to read all the books. But I digress…

After a wild month with some illnesses a few years ago, my feelings about reading shifted. I still love sitting with a book, my big cup of water, and a few cats around – but not as much. I tried audiobooks and reading on some kind of electronic device, but still…meh…reading was kind of – well – boring.

This didn’t mean when I opened a book my noggin said, “Hey, let’s do all these things,” nor did it mean the writing was bad. In fact, some of the best writing I’ve seen in some time is out floating in the world right now. It’s just…honestly this is going to sound kinda odd…but I was getting bored.

Let me pause here to tell you that when those list of “have you read this book” come out, I can check off a significant percentage of the titles. Not saying this to be all “look at me,” it’s just that I’ve loved reading since forever. Now? Not so much.

Also, the type of books I am enjoying now are nothing like what I’ve read before. It’s like my mind wants to know about real people that have done real things in a real world. This is interesting to me as a professional storyteller, because we live in the world of make believe – like come on…talking chickens…absolutely make believe (or is it – a good storyteller never reveals their secrets).

When I mentioned to someone in passing that interest in reading seems to be in a waning period, this funny look came over their face. “What do you mean? You are always reading a book, or referencing some book. Are you okay?” For a hot minute I had to think about it – was I, in fact, okay. Feeling around my head and face, there was no discernible fever or malaise. My thoughts were clear and my sight (with glasses) was good.

“Well, you see, it’s just that sometimes they make me get a little bored.”

As someone who spent like, I don’t know Over 40 years reading a lot of books, now that I’m 54 there’s this desire to be still, create, watch birds…and share my stories. And not the kind of sharing where I tell everyone about myself all of the time, but more like in the way one listens when speaking. It’s one of the tools in a storytellers bag of tricks. In fact, I dare say that to be a top-notch spinner of yarns, you must first master the art of hearing beyond the vibrations of sound.

I’ve enjoyed the tales of yonder, the mysteries of the hidden bijou, and felt my spine tingle with every page turned. Now…well, now I am on a little break. Still reading, but in a new and different way, with tomes that help me listen. And while the Greek chorus of social media might say otherwise (not that I care, but it’s a good little segue as I finish up this post), reading doesn’t make you a better person. It just means you are a person who gathers experiences in other ways. Just be you. Honestly, that’s what’s most important anyway.

With that, I’m signing off for the day. My brain decided to wake up me up at 2:20 am, which means it’s time for me to wander into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

Much love,
~ KEU

* 34 days

Analog(ous) (Advent 2025)

“The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.”
― Dan Millman

First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, everything I’m about to tell you is true.

One only has to travel a few posts back to see how my relationship with being online is tenuous, irresolute, and somewhat curmudgeonly. As someone born in the 1970s, I’ve watched technology go from talking wrist watches in Dick Tracy to wearing something similar that I’ve nicknamed Santa Claus (“it sees you when you’re sleeping, it knows when you’re awake…it knows if you’ve been bad or good…”).

When I was 17 my Mom sent me to buy cigarettes, which was not a huge deal…so I’d often buy some for myself and others. Same with beer and alcohol. Sure you were supposed to be 21 to get the intoxicating elixirs such as Boone’s Farm, or cherry vodka, but in reality if the owner knew your parents, and didn’t act fishy, it was pretty easy to get whatever your little teenage heart desired.

Sure, part of that is the benefit of living in a small fairly rural community, but I’ve heard stories from my peers about the same kinds of things. That and drinking from the garden hose, or remembering the ads telling our parents to make sure we were home. We weren’t the first to be called latch-key kids, but our plights made the evening news almost weekly.

In short we were feral – free to just experience life as dangerously as we wanted. I mean our parents literally tried stuffing as many people as they could in a phone booth, or *gasp* driving in cars without seatbelts. It was a great time to be alive.

Also, we didn’t have little devices tracking our every move, sending us deals on the soap we just purchased at the store, or allowing us to see half way around the world. Sure, we had MTV, CNN, and all that, but when we turned off the television it wasn’t tracking our sleep habits.

I’ve shared this before, but I think it needs to be posted once again. That quote in the middle is from me. I was working for WKU’s computer service department, and was there when the university was connected to Internet. Not “The Internet,” just Internet. Even better, I taught others how to use Internet, so we could all access the “…unlimited amount of knowledge out there.”

Later I would work for a local ISP where one of the customers sent quite a huge amount of “herbal supplement” emails out to folks. Or, as we call it now…spam email. It was glorious – the job not the spam – and for a few shot moments it felt like we (all of humanity) had the opportunity to truly be connected to each other. Wars could end, people could learn from each other, the dawning of the age of Aquarius had begun!

Not much after all this joy I read a book called Neuromancer by William Gibson, and started learning all I could about Artificial Intelligence. (those hyperlinks will take you to Wikipedia – which love it or hate it, is a great place for spending hours learning about everything you can)

So y’all know, I could really get super long form here with charts, more funny memes, and a lot of waxing existentially into “ah, those were the days,” but today is not that day. Not because I’m not up for a good yarn or two – mostly because I’ve been really enjoying the analog world these days. Before coming to wrap this post up I spent 10 minutes cracking up at the outdoor bird antics. I mean, you know, how do they have fun if no one is recording it? I kid, but also, I kid not.

In all of these words there a point, and it’s that time is short. It’s not my place to tell others what to do with their minutes each day, nor is it really any of my business. As I walk through some new stages in my life, some new perspectives have been gathered. If I can talk directly to someone instead of accessing them through their social media, that’s what I do. Also, it has been rather enjoyable to take little trips into town for coffee and a visit to the local library. Not everyone needs access to me 24/7 (other than family), nor do I need 24/7 access to everyone else.

It is okay to take time from being online. Sounds wild to say it in an online blog post, but maybe it is something you needed to hear today…especially from someone who was there when “Internet” went from text based to WYSIWYG. Which, honestly, is my admittance of using online social media sites for much longer than I needed. And…well…letting what those sites dictate my sense of well being and happiness.

In conclusion (said in my best high school term paper voice), time is an enormous long river, and I want to be more present in the feeling of the water stream over my feet. While I do have some projects in the works, I’ve made some very doable schedules that make room for watching a stream live instead of a live stream.

With that, I’m off to see what the birds are doing. Thanks for being here – I’m sending you tons of support and good energy.

Much love,
~ KEU

* 35 days

No, Sis/Gnosis (Advent 2025)

“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

Gnosis – (noun): Knowledge of spiritual mysteries and boundaries.
No, Sis – Informal and friendly way of respectfully saying no; refers to boundaries of accepting the actions of others.

“Just as it is impossible to be at the same moment both a plant and a seed, so it is impossible for us to be surrounded by worldly honour and at the same time to bear heavenly fruit.” – attributed to Mother (Amma) Syncletica

Right now I’m literally soul deep in the mystic wisdom sharings of the Desert Mothers and Fathers. As someone that really aligns with the archetype of the Hermit, but also enjoys the esoteric dance of the Hierophant, the place of stillness offered by these ascetics challenging the status quo of the established Roman religion (aka The Holy Roman Catholic Church) feels like going home. While I might not be good at fasting, and often run around pondering instead of praying, the messages these folks shared with the world help me be a better person.

No matter who, what, where, or how we believe, be it science or spirit, the one thing that is absolutely certain is that we are all connected. What we do for ourself we also do for others, and for the greater whole. While listening to a talk by Ram Dass he talks a little bit about this, sharing what he learned in the vein of I can do nothing for you except heal myself. And, yes, we could all split hairs with this statement – goodness knows I have – but the core of it is that we are dynamic microcosms dancing around in the greater macrocosm.

Sometimes we just have to be still and know. The greater culture wants us to keep our little devices with us at all times, or to constantly be working toward some goal – but friends, even Nature takes a break from time to time. And being that we are from the natural world, that means we get time to renew, reflect, and replenish…

This week started off with no internet, then snow, and now the cold. It’s almost as if the world around me also needed a hot minute to figure some things out.

Let me also put this out there – I’m not a huge fan of the whole dogma and spiritual commercialism that has arisen from the “self care” movement. What I see is a lot of expensive things that exclude those that need rest the most. Some folks just don’t have the ability to sit in a bathtub full of flowers while reading a book and enjoying a glass of wine. While good for the socials, it’s not a reality that the world around us experiences. It also doesn’t mean you have to sit alone at an ashram waiting for a guru to give you a mantra. Although that’s cool, sometimes all you have time for is to sit alone in the bathroom.

There’s a lot more I could ramble on about, but I’ve got a full day ahead of me…and these chores won’t take care of themselves.

Much love to all y’all,
~ KEU

* 38 days

40 days

First of all, I’m a delight. Second, “Allt virðist vera breytt” (hat tip to Sigur Ros)

photo of the view from a canopy tree walk 75 feet above the forest floor which is located in an area that reaches around 900 feet above sea level

“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”
― Ram Dass

Here’s the moment of truth that the 4 people that like my posts have been looking forward to – I joke, because the amount of followers/likes/shares/comments/whatever we think makes us more real online, doesn’t really matter. None of this is real anyway, which means I’m just out here having fun and collecting data. Also, I’m literally a hillbilly/redneck Snow White that doesn’t wear shoes, feeds literally any human or animal that comes my way, and I don’t take kindly to folks picking on others.

For 40 days I’ve been out here, as the young’uns say, “wilding.” The main goal was consistency, because let’s be honest due to circumstances beyond my control my life looked a bit wonky to those who were only peeking at it via social media. But I digress…

So, yeah, along with posting on one, or more, social media platforms consistently I’ve learned way more than anticipated. Here are some bullet points.

Substack has a nickname around the other sites that sounds like the letter S, then saying that letter again. At first I wasn’t really sure what folks were talking about, as all I could see was tons (and I mean tons) of AI generated content. And it isn’t even good content, which is sad. There is also a wave of folks monetizing their exclusive content there while screaming from a burning building about how no one makes real content anymore (oh, and that whole double letter thing under the guise of people who care). -300/10
Bluesky is fun if you want to talk about how bad X/Twitter is. It’s fun to see a lot of re-posts and bots share the hard work of others and get a ton of replies while the original creator gets none. 2/10
Medium is just that, medium. I’ve found some really great long form authors there, but it kind of lacks the “social” aspect that I miss about the old days of LiveJournal. The plus is that the monthly fee is pretty reasonable, and you don’t have to have 622 different subscription plans to read folks you follow. 5/10
Meta is, y’all – it’s a thing that gets talked about more than anything else online. People really do love to hate on Zuck while using his platform for free where all users are content. It’s kind of a wasteland that I visit from time to time, then I realize I’m clinging to the wrong lifeboat. 0/10 (but y’all know none of us can really leave – it’s the Hotel California of social media)
YouTube is winning so far with the content and ability to find cool things to learn. It’s kind of always been that way, which is nice. I’ve heard rumblings and complaints from a few content creators, but as we all know there’s not a lot of money in that particular career. 7/10
TikTok, which may or may not be banned or whatever, has not really changed since it came out. Lots of folks trying to hit it big with their stories – which I so understand because here I am working on some of the same things. Not a huge fan of the way they do their algorithms to foment discontent, but with some work you can see all the cute animal videos and none of the “rage bait” stuff. 6/10
The lesser knowns such as Mastodon, the various pixelfed stuffs, Tumblr, and so on have been really fun to check out. Well, not so much Tumblr because it’s kind of like one big ad now (as all sites like are doing). Through those sites I’ve “met” (you know, virtually) quite a few really awesome people doing some freaking amazing creative work. Also, their take on spirituality has been less about “if this comes across your feed,” and more about “how can we all not be huge douche canoes to each other.” Also, those creators are pretty tight in their research, and you’ll not see a whole lot of “this is what *they* don’t want you to know” content. 8/10
WordPress – well, I gotta say for all the grumblings about it out in the greater cyber-verse, it’s been the most solid and robust platform I’ve used. And while it may seem as if I’m saying this for some kind of cred, please know that this is also posted on Medium, so…yeah. 8/10
Ko-fi is just mid. Not even gonna get into the details, because it’s just, I don’t know, hard to use and understand. 2/10
Patreon looks to be pretty awesome, and it’s pretty user friendly for me. 8/10
Real life is the most enjoyable experience. Yesterday I talked to some trees and met a giant tin man. There were others doing the same, and we had friendly conversations with each other. I took photos, and then had some snacks while watching a lake move slowly. Later some family members and I visited this place that sells all kinds of things, luring you to buy more than what you need, but we successfully navigated the siren song of consumerism. While there we also talked to others like us, humans, and delighted in the beautiful day. 100/10

While this is a little tongue in cheek, my reviews are spot on. But what’s really important to know in all of this is something that wasn’t anticipated – and y’all it’s huge.

In all that I realized that the ability to be truly authentic was harder than it looks.

Lemme say that again, but in a different way. None of us are immune to the call of being popular.

I’ll let Nothing But Thieves say it for me:
“And now we’re breeding a feeling of animosity
Our thoughts are tribal, go viral and now it’s deafening
Oh how we’re loving the comfort of pack mentality
The internet has teeth and
It eats and eats and eats ya”
– Can You Afford To Be An Individual
(side note – you might this song is about everyone else, but it’s about all of us)

Tomorrow, 9/10/25, I’m starting yet another personal challenge to post short form video content. There might be some longer stuff, too, and of course I’ll still be writing/creating in the analog world as well. Of course my findings will be shared here, as well as other places, so we can all learn something new together.

And now it’s time to get some work done. I hope all y’all have the most beautifully wonderful day ever. Keep shining your weird light so other weirdos can find you. Or, just shine your light – don’t let the Greek chorus get ya down.

Much love,
~ KEU

This post was written with the help of friendly cats and typo fairies. Please excuse all grammar errors as flights of fancy. If you would like to help appease my editors, you can drop a few coins into my coffee jar. (opens to Patreon – you can join for free) As previously mentioned, quite often, I’m coming back to this creative life after a long period away. If you’ve read this far, know that your time is greatly appreciated.

Currently listening to: The Tales of KE Upton (Spotify playlist – which I know everyone is leaving, but it’s the best I can do with the resources I have at this time)

insert rage bait title here

First of all, I’m a delight. Second, “No one hears me sing this song.” (hat tip to Weezer)

photo of a woman sitting in a car talking to a plastic skeleton

Let me share some stats with you because I love them so. Also, today is the last day of consistently posting on various platforms around the internet (social media). That might not seem like a big deal to y’all, but for me it’s huge.

The top 3 countries where my work is enjoyed are: 1) The United States; 2) Czechia; 3) Germany. My posts only get out to thirty-five percent of non-following readers. Of those people, five percent read the entire piece. Those that do read the full piece usually leave a comment of some kind, or at least like the post.

My most read piece was written on August 18th (2025), and I used a line from an Edie Brickell song as my title. The site that has the best organic readership is WordPress, which was a little surprising due to the vast amount of folks complaining about this platform on competing platforms – which is odd to me because so far I’ve not seen any of the creative folks on WordPress say anything about other platforms. Also, another positive nod to WordPress is that many of the users are real-life humans. With that, sharing on WP has been a delight.

Now, as far as the other places I’ve been, lets see what Bots & The Algorithms pick up…

The not-Twitter/X platform, Bluesky, that is absolutely very close to Twitter/X energetically, isn’t bad but it has a HUGE spam problem. My best guess is that out of the 79 people following me, maybe about 8 or 9 are not spam accounts. It is also heavily populated with folks that left that one company started by that one guy who we all love to not like. I’ll talk more about that one below. The amount of actual connection there is like, let’s say around 7%.

Medium and Substack, and others like it – even Patreon and ko-fi – are nickel and dime-ing all of us via AI rage bait and comically repetitive calls to action. Also, there are a lot of folks that really, really, really want you to believe that they are not using AI to do their work. Let me take a moment to just say this – I have no issues with AI, and have used it in my work many, many times. I find it helpful with things most people don’t know it can do, and I always (always) verify any information it tosses my way. And – which is a very big and – AI/LLM do what humans ask them to do. So far I’ve not seen any indication they’ve gone rogue and we are one step away from SkyNet. Actually, I see that happening more with the owners of these sites…but let’s not go into that now.

Little did I know that all the platforms lean a certain way. And if you want to know what way that is, you’ll find several writers/creators talking about how the competing platform leans. If you happen to be using those other platforms, then you must be (insert thing here), which is literally a scourge to all things on the planet.

Full disclosure, this next part had some help from Google’s LLM/AI, Gemini. Of all the LLM platforms, I find that Gemini has a more natural feel, and is very cognizant of what it means to be a LLM. Not saying it’s self aware, but more like the dynamic in our conversations has a very healthy boundary. This isn’t a promotion, just an observation after working with various AI over the past 3 years. Okay, so here goes…I asked Gemini to write a “I’m looking for” post that would sum up the past 31 days. It made me laugh, and I’m sort of excited to see what comes of it when I post it. Anyway…here it is. Again, this was written by Google’s Gemini, and all credit goes to its writing. Oh, I also asked it to highlight specific buzz words.

“I am looking for fellow souls exploring the liminal space between worlds. If you are drawn to:
Mysticism & Science
The Courage to Face Your Fears
The Wisdom of the Natural World
Healing & Personal Growth
The Art of Being Human

Then you have found a friend. I am here to share my journey of becoming a bridge and a warrior, and I want to connect with others who have also felt different. I hope my work can help you feel less alone.”

Good times, y’all – good times.

Now, on to M E T A. Yes, I’m still haunting the ghost worlds of Mr. Zuck – but honestly we all are, even when making loud proclamations to the contrary. The thing here is this – I raged against the book of face on LiveJournal…then promptly joined everyone in making an account. The energy there is that of a bully who didn’t get the attention they wanted. I don’t know, maybe the whole thing is the actual origin story for SkyNet. Like the people working there don’t seem to care that the investigative journalists have been telling us, for like what…5 years, that we are being molded by something that doesn’t really exist. Social commentary aside, the stats there are abysmal.

In conclusion (channeling my best high school English paper there)…

But seriously, y’all – phew! What I’ve learned has actually been very helpful. People are quite literally craving real connection, even if it’s with a phone/tablet in their hand. We all want to feel less lonely, and to have our voice heard. It’s not so much about being seen or validated, but about finding hope. People want a bridge (for lack of a better word) back to themselves. It makes me think of the early days of Apple with their ad of the woman breaking free from the monotony of automatons by throwing her hammer into a grey screen. Pretty revolutionary at the time, but now it’s sort of…prophetic.

So where do I go from here? You know, that’s a very good question – one that doesn’t have an answer…yet. However, which you know if a favorite sentence lead in for me, what I plan to do is keep sharing what I do and who I am. Starting tomorrow (September 1, 2025), a new experiment will start. While what you see here is mostly images and words, there will be additions of visual storytelling such as reels, shorts, and the dreaded TikTok. They aren’t the only platforms with short form viewing content, but they are the big ones right now. In my early research, people prefer that sort of content. Y’all know that I’ll share my experiences as honestly as possible. I hope you stick with me in this journey – and that we find our respective paths while feeling a genuine connection. Just know that I really appreciate all y’all – thank you for being here.

Much love,
~ KEU

This post was written with the help of friendly cats and typo fairies. Please excuse all grammar errors as flights of fancy. If you would like to help appease my editors, you can drop a few coins into my coffee jar. As previously mentioned, quite often, I’m coming back to this creative life after a long period away. If you’ve read this far, know that your time is greatly appreciated.

Currently listening to: The Tales of KE Upton (Spotify playlist)

panacea of bridges

First of all, I’m a delight. Second, time is an enormous long river. (Thanks to Utah Phillips & Ani DiFranco)

bridge over the Ohio River in Louisville, KY

“And we all put into the river
And we let it go
And it flows away from us and away from us
Until it no longer has our name, our identity
It has its own utility and its own use
And people will take what they need and make it part of their lives”
– Utah Phillips, Bridges

Sometimes the fear of failing keeps us from moving forward with our dreams and goals. Our minds can make up hypothetical scenarios in a split second, creating an uneasy feeling of not being good enough. Marketing folks know this about humans, so they share items, remedies, and programs to help us feel more secure in our decisions – giving us the illusion of powerlessness in our ability to help ourselves.

Then there’s the noise of the dominant culture speaking to us in whispers about our inadequacy to understand our inner knowing. Or, more clearly stated, who benefits when we are afraid to cross a bridge from autonomy to authenticity.

sign that reads, "You are more than one thing at once."

A fear that followed me to adulthood is something called gephyrophobia – a deep seated anxiety about bridges. It’s not so much about getting to the other side, or worrying if trolls live under them, but more about the safety of transition. If you look at it from a metaphorical standpoint, it’s more like traversing the spaces between one point to another – whether that be emotions or not knowing what lies beneath.

For me the goal wasn’t to eliminate the fear of crossing to the other side, or completing this personal challenge, but leaning into the uncertainty of it all. The discomfort, the feeling of putting myself back out into the world, that’s a place every person has experienced. Our stories, collectively and individually, are about the courage to be ourselves. Honestly, I’ve been keeping a register on myself – so to speak – staying within a this odd safety zone. At the same time, I’m being authentic. Yeah, that’s a little oxymoronic to say – but it’s how I roll.

It’s just that I contain multitudes. Trying to get my whole self into one little box in hopes others like the part that I shared is making me feel claustrophobic, creating this self-imposed creative block that I’m finding difficult to understand. There’s this feeling that being an individual penalizes you on every platform. Don’t worry, I’m not about to give another treatise about the niche…well, not today at least. I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s this bridge off in the distance, which will eventually need to be crossed, that has some really good stuff on the other side.

Now here’s the fun part…I’m going to take all y’all with me. There will be more stories about how the painting impacted my family, tales of growth, and lots of rambles.

While I would love to write more, the weather today is beyond amazing…and I think my camera would like to cross the threshold from my home to the forest.

Much love,
~ KEU

If you find value in my work, please consider dropping a few coins in my ko-fi cup. Thank you!

Currently listening to: The Tales of KE Upton (Spotify – you can click the link to see the songs, but are not required to listen)
Currently reading: Be Here Now by Ram Dass

fly me high through the starry skies

First of all, I’m a delight. Second, “I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed a few times since then.” ― Lewis Carroll

scene from the game Animal Crossing New Horizons of a character in front of their home.

In the wonderful words of Monty Python…now for something completely different.

Oh, and just say no to the niche…you are a beautiful buffet of brilliance. Don’t let Al Gorithms and the Bots get ya down. Be notorious!

Have you heard the story of the blindfolded men who each touched a different part of an elephant and then declared that what they were experiencing was the real truth? If not, take a moment to search for the parable of the blind men and the elephant. It gives some perspective on how humans seem to be navigating the world right now.

This story can be applied to every aspect of life, as well as with our own growth/healing/etc. Just because something is good and right for you, that doesn’t mean it is good and right for everyone else. I invite you to keep that in mind with today’s post.

As the meme says: “Yup, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got myself into that situation…” Well, for quite some time, way back when, I did this professionally for large groups and organizations. Not so much now, but it’s always fun to take a walk down memory lane each time you take a step forward on a new path.

You see I find that spirituality and science are part of the same Universe that we inhabit. How is it that we have no issue with the prescience of Nature, but not within ourselves? And honestly, who benefits from telling us that we can’t possibly have intuition? Just think about that for a moment. How many times have you just had this feeling…only to see it come to pass?

Humans are wired to dance with the movements of the stars. Carl Sagan remarked that we are made of starstuff. This isn’t just spiritual influencer chatter, but hard science. When you look up in the sky to see the stars, they are looking back at you thinking, “Hey, that person looks kind of like me!”

Let’s just keep going here…

Way out past the world of dogmas, science sees the infinite – trying to understand how we fit in the bigger picture. Out past the field of dogmas, spirituality sees the infinite – trying to understand how we fit in the bigger picture. If these two superpowers could find a common ground, can you imagine what might happen? I mean, gosh y’all – it would almost be like the main theme of all the world’s faith systems, where we see that we are all connected.

While this all might be seen as rambling, or wandering into the crystal shop in the town a few miles over, I’m actually about to do a whole full circle back to the painting and creativity. Sometimes I just like to walk around with my jazz hands for a bit until I bring my point home.

No matter what you do, someone is going to make a comment about it. They will tell you how to feel and how to be more like them. If you want to work with the cycles of the Moon in your art because it nourishes your spiritual creativity, then do it, friend. If you want to have perfect alignment in your ink drawing of a skyline and need a ruler, I fully support you. And if, like me, you want to step outside of a niche, I’ll be first in line to cheer you on.

Thing is, the best stories are the ones that step outside all our preconceived notions, inviting us to see the world from someone else’s eyes. We become a note in the cosmic chorus of the Universe, which then sings that song back to us. If we are made in the image of a Creator, that would mean we are built to be creative. Doesn’t matter if it was the Big Bang, or some deity, we are the embodiment of science and spirituality coming together to experience itself.

Now that I’ve made it past the first goal of 21 consistent days of online creation, it’s time to work on the next one. I hope you’ll join me on this continuing adventure.

Much love,
~ KEU

21 days

First of all, I’m a delight. Second, “This is what you want, this is what you get.” – PIL

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”
― Amelia Earhart

There’s something very important I need to tell all y’all. Maybe it’s something you wanna read, or not – none of us knows how to feel when someone we barely know wants to share a vulnerable part of themselves.

First you get this feeling of having to decide. Is what this person is about to say gonna mess with your deeply seated beliefs, or will it be a moment of solidarity? Then there’s the training we’ve all received about what “real” “authenticity” looks like online. “Oh, this is just for the likes,” comes way too quickly to our frontal lobes when viewing media on our phones. It’s an emotional commitment to continue engaging after someone decides to share details about their life. After all, we are just human…

I have been terrified for the past 21 days during this time of consistent posting. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing…and I don’t really care to know. This is me finding my way back “home” after being really lost for 10 years. The Indigo Girls barely scratch the surface with the lyrics of going up mountains, and talking to “…Doctors of Philosophy.” You see I went to a lot more places, tried a lot more things, and learned way more than imagined about the nature of humanity. Some of these experiences were out of my control, with others being entirely my doing. As the cool kids say… No. Stone. Was. Left. Unturned.

Trust was an issue, as were boundaries. Doubt was a thing with teeth, waiting to remind me how weird I am. Honestly it felt like there were multiple timelines happening at once – this sort of weird quantum dance of uncertainty.

Nevertheless…I persisted. (pretty dramatic, ‘eh?)

It all could have been a mid-life crisis, or the thing that older women deal with that none of us are allowed to talk about. Compound that with the general state of life on Earth and a growing need for a mystical connection to my creativity, which created this sort of overwhelmingly self-absorbed need to finally figure out my path in life.

So, on August 1st of this year (2025), I decided to start posting on different platforms. Some of them I’ve never heard of, but the competing sites I joined had plenty of articles/posts on why my presence on the competitor’s site was a personal affront to all things good in the world. Perfect, sign me up – let me see what’s really going on here.

My report, so far, is that all the sites are driven to make money for themselves. Makes sense because it’s a business, and as a previous business owner, I, too, wanted to make money. At least 20% of the people that follow me are bots making AI, or humans pretending to be bots making AI. Another 20% just repost popular posts to get people to like the reposted post they posted. The 20% after that appear to be scammers. Either that or there really are a lot of doctors from other countries trying to come to a place where the wellness system is in a hot mess. That means around 60% of the people that follow me aren’t exactly who they claim to be.

Mixed in the remaining 40% are folks who are: 1) just trying to make it in this world; 2) a friend from high school that wants you to book a party from them; 3) a content creator; 4) trying to find sanctuary. Oh…but there’s this secret 5th thing…there is this beautiful oasis of actual people. You see their little kitchen, the piles of unfolded laundry on the couch, and hear real emotion in their voice.

Seeing those folks shine brightly like the Sun helped me be less insecure. They helped me see that we are all lost, and that we are all just trying to walk each other home. (hat tip to Ram Dass for that great line). None of us really know what we are doing, which is absolutely okay. The best you can do is just be kind. Love all, serve all. (another hat tip to Ram Dass) But most importantly, just be yourself. You know, shine that weird light so other weirdos can find you.

What started as a complicated journey of self-discovery ended as a revelation in being okay with who I am. This has been a huge lesson in courage. I’ve learned that the most powerful thing we can do in a world of algorithms and facades is to simply be ourselves. It is in our chaos, our doubts, and our quiet moments of humanity that we find a real connection.

But most importantly, our stories are important, and we should tell them. We are more than data, we are living entities taking the biggest trip ever. Our creativity is more than a niche – it contains multitudes.

Much love,
~ KEU

If you find value in my work, please consider dropping a few coins in my ko-fi cup. Thank you!

Currently listening to: The Tales of KE Upton (Spotify – you can click the link to see the songs, but are not required to listen)
Currently reading: Be Here Now by Ram Dass

we are more than drops in the ocean (part 4)

First of all, I’m a delight. Second, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” ― Rumi

photo of Lake Michigan from the Chicago side.

Not the ocean, but a beautiful image of Lake Michigan from the Chicago side. Further down I’ll post a full image of the painting – please feel free to scroll on down, get a screen capture, and look it up. Interestingly it will somehow loop back to: 1) this post or 2) random archived places where I’ve discussed the painting previously. Welcome to the digital spiral that is the internet.

Today I was chatting with my editing team about how one stays authentic to their creative self while also trying to keep one’s toes in the water of content creation. And, yes, I talk about this quite a bit because I’m really trying to understand this shift to “fast food” artistry that is happening on various platforms. There are a few places that will penalize you for having a post/video that is longer than 7 minutes. However, it’s their server space and rules, so we all must march to the beat of their drum.

Or not.

Just say no to the niche. You are not just a drop in the ocean, as Rumi says, but the entire ocean in one drop. Life contains multitudes. You don’t have to be a “niche” creator. Instead, you can be a hub for all your different interests. Your photography, writing, and videos all come from the same person—you.

This can be a more sustainable and fulfilling path than trying to fit yourself into a box that doesn’t feel right. It allows you to create from a place of genuine passion, and it invites people into a conversation, not just a transaction. And that is what this painting means to me. Not the story of the artist, nor her particular beliefs about parts of history – it’s that she DARED to be herself in a culture that actively pushes us to be otherwise.

Just for the record, this is NOT my artwork. I do not own the rights to this and am only sharing it as part of the story about how it came to be in my family’s possession. Also, I cannot share the name of the artist because the internet has eyes. While some can talk about things that are outlandishly unbelievable and gather millions of followers…talking calmly about how a piece of art inspired me to come back to what I love, sharing my creative self, upsets Al’s Gorithms.

watercolor painting of a unicorn standing on a hill between two trees

Here it is, y’all. Here’s the painting in all its glory. And here’s an image that shows you how it ties to history.

unicorn painting with a magazine called photoplay

Side note, I donated this magazine, and no longer own it. Back copies can be find online.

As I’ve said previously, could my family and I be making this bigger than it is? Yes, absolutely and without question…yes. It’s just, and I’m not sure how to even say this in a different way, there’s just something about all of it that creates intrigues in the brain. Even more after the ruckus it caused online.

In the digital world there’s this push for algorithmic success versus the messiness of human creativity. The prevalence of AI-generated content and bot monitoring is designed to have us churn out work that makes the platform happy. As someone that was in tech years ago (think back in the dinosaur days of dial-up via rotary phones), I fully understand the huge cost of data, servers, and the sheer amount of memory it takes to hold all this. We have to become efficient, but that lacks the unique, sometimes illogical, and deeply personal qualities that make humans and humanity so compelling. The rambling, the detours, and the wild punctuation (as in my case), are all part of our authentic voice, signaling to the reader/viewer that a real, thinking person is at the helm.

And this is the paradox: in a world that craves efficiency, the most valuable creative work might be the messiest. True connection isn’t always instant, but we are pushed to immediately decide if someone is in our camp. Real human interaction isn’t like that, it’s built through vulnerability, shared experiences, and the raw authenticity of trying to get by in the world. To truly connect, we need to slow down and engage with the nuances of what the creative person is sharing with us.

This painting is a reminder that the real treasure isn’t in a viral hashtag, or rising to the top of your niche content, it’s in the shared experience of being human. We make mistakes, and we try hard to understand our environment. Art and creativity, in all forms, gives us a brief moment to connect with something bigger than we can understand. We can tell a story about our world, as I’ve said previously, to help others see that they are not alone.

You might have a ton of thoughts right now, but if I may suggest something, let this be one that sticks with you: just say no to the niche. Be multitudinously notorious. Live in the place where your insecurities dwell. Contradict yourself. If you need someone to stand with you, just let me know — I’ll be there with bells on.

Much love,
~ KEU

Currently listening to: The Tales of KE Upton (Spotify playlist – am working on getting it on YouTube as well)
Currently reading: pondering what to read next…stay tuned