First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, I contain multitudes.
Third, growing older is not for sissies.
“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
In the land of cognitive dissonance, one should not be allowed anything that is combustible, nor should anyone be given kindling that looks like self-sabotage.
Not that I know anything about that crippling grasp of imposter syndrome, or how to badly manage things when my cup was overflowing to the point of flooding everything around me. Along with that, I had been very well trained in my youth to believe that everyone else had my best interest at heart. Plot twist – they don’t.
This isn’t because they are inherently wrong, or bad, but more like they got wonky data themselves. It is really difficult to get past input that looks like one thing, but is really something else. Sometimes you fall into the trap of feeling as if someone is there to help you, but really just want to talk about their degrees or themselves beyond the normal flow of healthy conversation. As one of my kids always says to me, in their youthful wisdom – “Sometimes it just be that way.”
Now, if you’ve already gathered all the things needed to set yourself (metaphorically) ablaze, making sure there are no bridges to you, don’t forget to leave breadcrumbs for yourself after you get done burning brightly as the Sun. These are the things you will use to find your way back to that behavior after forgetting what you learned in the crucible of change. Not that I would have any personal experience in this (insert pondering face emojis here).
All joking aside, I’m not exactly sure why it took me so long to work with myself the way I work with my clients. You know, all for thee, but not for me, but with an Uno reverse, a raccoon selling you trinkets, and some crows that clearly have some ideas about things. But then one day, and as much as I love a good “this [insert amount of time] ago,” I couldn’t pinpoint when it was for all the delicious cookies in the world. Just one morning my feet hit the floor, my body walked into the kitchen for coffee, and I just sat down at my desk and wrote out a life plan for the next 20 years. And not general things, but deep thoughts about all the mistakes I made, all the boundaries that needed work, and how grateful I was for a life partner/spouse/bestest friend who supported every wild hair (dream) I thought was mine to work with.
Then I got quiet. Real quiet, like silent running quiet, moving my submarine up some shallow waters to rest among the inlets of peaceful calmness.
Oh, and I threw away a ton of stuff, and I’m about to do it again here in a few weeks. If you know anything about semiotics and how the brain leaves us little messages with items we have around us, then the stacks of books, creative tools I was never going to use, and the sheer amount of doodads…good Lord, the absolute weight of the tchotchkes everywhere… Honestly it was like I was picking up these things in hopes that others would see them and see me as a person that enjoys such things. Brains are funny that way, and after years of studying why they do what they do to help people in their daily lives, it just seemed like a good time to dive into mine after the umpteenth reinvention of myself.
Oh, wait, did I just say that out loud? Well, I mean I *do* contain multitudes. And do I contradict myself? Oh, absolutely! LOL!!
This is why healing isn’t linear. Also, when working with clients I share these processes with them. That’s one thing I find lacking in the modern conventional wellness word — the admitting that just because one is degreed, has learned the dogma from the halls of higher education, or whatever language is used to show expertise in their craft, doesn’t mean they know it all (or are above making mistakes). But that is a ramble for another day…
Starting May 1st, 2026, in addition to all the wonderful stuff at Mom’s Strange Magic, the first episode of The KimboBurly Tales will go live on YouTube. Of course it will be posted here, too, so you can just watch it in a post, but if you wanna help a human out, after it launches you can subscribe for updates. There will be guest appearances, side quests with Mr. The Mister, and lots of whimsy. Also, if you’ve ever wanted to know all the details of my life, then you will be happy to know that no stones will be left unturned.
While I could continue to write things, there are crochet projects that need my attention, and I think one of the cats wants my office chair.
Thanks for being here, and thanks for being you!
Until next time – much love and good energies your way,
KEU
Kim Upton 