First of all, I’m a delight.
Second, everything I’m about to tell you is true.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
― Rumi
This is a story 54 years in the making. It has taken me a long time to figure out how to share it with others, but what I do know is that it’s beyond time to lay it all out.
These tales are not just about my life, as Mr. The Mister has some wonderful tales of his own…one of which includes a painting we own from a well known conspiracy theorist that opened our eyes to a whole other world.
Let’s start here, with this photo.
These are my biological parents on a date while we were visiting my father during a time when my Mom was separated from my birth certificate father. At the time no one was willing to let me in on such facts. The trip was a blast, and he convinced my mom to let me get my ears pierced. The highlight of the trip was being able to see the Battlestar Galactica setup at Universal Studios. I do remember that at some point my mom was crying because of something my dad said. Again, just so all y’all know, at that time I had no idea that this man was my real father.
My mom and step-dad came to visit me at my collage apartment for my birthday. I was worried that there was going to be some kind of bad news, as my mom had just had a biopsy done to check for cancer. After I asked how she was, her reply was this – “Your dad is not your dad, but your real dad wants to talk to you now.” She picks up my phone, makes a collect call, then hands me the receiver saying, “Here. Talk to him.”
“We have as yet hardly spoken of the infant; that little creature, whose innocent life had sprung, by the inscrutable decree of Providence, a lovely and immortal flower, out of the rank luxuriance of a guilty passion” – Nathanial Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
In my work I help folks put pieces of themselves back together after learning about the intrigue of their family tree. It is difficult to learn that all the people in your life colluded in keeping your origin story secret because of their job, faith system, or what-have-you. The largest database of information is held by the Mormon Church. And yes…there are still wards that will do proxy baptisms of the dead – meaning that your relatives and ancestors might have an extra ticket to the streets of gold with ambrosia and caffeine free Coke.
As a student of all the world’s faith systems, I am able to see the benefits of spiritual community, but there are times when you just gotta wonder what in the world. Messing with other faith’s ancestors is one of those “what in the world” moments.
While I’m writing this my hands are shaking. Not from worrying about what people will think, or if any of these family members will have beef about what I’ve learned over the years (and what they can’t keep hidden), but from wanting to heal (mostly) out loud. Not for attention, or do get that social media b.s. clout, but to let others know they are not alone.
The reason for writing this post today is because RootsTech starts tomorrow, March 5th, 2026. People will be flocking to the halls of genealogical expertise to figure out who their ancestors are, but will often come away with a huge bag of surprises. There’s no aid for those who find out their family secrets are not what they were told (or not told). Many leave there feeling even more alone, not getting any answers for their questions.
With that, I’m off to work on some projects. Also, this week’s podcast for Mom’s Strange Magic is up if you want to check it out here.
Much love,
KEU
Kim Upton 